http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/deeper-walk/features/26398-we-need-boring-christians
Okay, so the last attempt to post this link didn't work quite the way it was supposed to: here is the correct, complete link.
(Sorry, I'm still figuring this out!)
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Faithful Service
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/
The article linked above talks about something that I just spent several months hammering out for myself: sometimes God calls to serve faithfully in a place that we don't really want to be.
I mentioned in a previous post that I have struggled a lot with burnout and feeling trapped at my job, thinking that there must be something else better, that surely I am not supposed to keep showing up to this place that weighs me down so heavily.
And then I realized that my favorite Bible verse, Colossians 3:23, doesn't say, "serve the Lord with all your heart because the work you are doing makes you happy," it says "whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for man."
I realized that all the reasons I originally felt called to this place are still valid, and that wherever God places me, my attitude is my own responsibility. I also had lunch with an older, wiser RN who told me that sometimes God puts us in dark places so that we can be a light for Him.
That really hit me, because I felt that my workplace had grown so dark and depressing, and every shift I showed up to felt like another nail in the coffin. I was ready to move on something more exciting and less frustrating, or else announce that this career was over!
Obviously, any job or workplace has politics and drama and everyone has bad days; it's up to us as Christians to maintain a good attitude and hold that eternal perspective: I am serving Christ in whatever I do. Therefore, I should do it well. End of story.
(But not quite end of blog)
I felt that this article validated that which I had already wrestled through on my own; that not every person is called to do things that are exciting or exotic or glamorous. (There's certainly nothing glamorous about cleaning up other people's poop.) But we are all called to serve faithfully, wherever we are and in whatever we do; as the Bible mentions over and over, God wants our hearts; He cares not only about our work, but about the motivation behind it. So wherever we are and whatever we do, let's do it for His glory.
The article linked above talks about something that I just spent several months hammering out for myself: sometimes God calls to serve faithfully in a place that we don't really want to be.
I mentioned in a previous post that I have struggled a lot with burnout and feeling trapped at my job, thinking that there must be something else better, that surely I am not supposed to keep showing up to this place that weighs me down so heavily.
And then I realized that my favorite Bible verse, Colossians 3:23, doesn't say, "serve the Lord with all your heart because the work you are doing makes you happy," it says "whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for man."
I realized that all the reasons I originally felt called to this place are still valid, and that wherever God places me, my attitude is my own responsibility. I also had lunch with an older, wiser RN who told me that sometimes God puts us in dark places so that we can be a light for Him.
That really hit me, because I felt that my workplace had grown so dark and depressing, and every shift I showed up to felt like another nail in the coffin. I was ready to move on something more exciting and less frustrating, or else announce that this career was over!
Obviously, any job or workplace has politics and drama and everyone has bad days; it's up to us as Christians to maintain a good attitude and hold that eternal perspective: I am serving Christ in whatever I do. Therefore, I should do it well. End of story.
(But not quite end of blog)
I felt that this article validated that which I had already wrestled through on my own; that not every person is called to do things that are exciting or exotic or glamorous. (There's certainly nothing glamorous about cleaning up other people's poop.) But we are all called to serve faithfully, wherever we are and in whatever we do; as the Bible mentions over and over, God wants our hearts; He cares not only about our work, but about the motivation behind it. So wherever we are and whatever we do, let's do it for His glory.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
San Diego!
Hurray, Vacation! This weekend I didn't have work, and since it was 100+ degrees in Phoenix, we decided to make the most of it and escape to the coast for a few days.
We used an app for the iPhone called hotel finder to make last minute reservations (thanks, honey, for being so resourceful!) and our first night was amazing! We stayed in the Gaslamp Plaza Suites, a converted hotel that was originally the first ever skyscraper built in San Diego, way back in 1913! For anyone familiar with my obsessive love of American history and the early 20th century especially, this was obviously a big thrill. Our room was tiny that the bathroom was almost the same size, but we loved it.
Also, the next morning, they served a yummy free breakfast--on the roof! We had a great view--and counted almost a dozen flags flying from the tops of various skyscrapers, including ours. Gotta love the American pride!
Saturday we spent the whole day at SeaWorld, using our year passes that we got for our honeymoon. Last time we were there, of course, it was March, which meant that a) it was much colder, and b) there were fewer people. This time there were small chldren everywhere! It was kind of like an obstacle course navagating the crowds and trying not to step on any tiny kids. Last time we visited, Carlos wanted to sit in the "soak zone" at the Shamu show, and the signs do not lie--we got soaked! And because it was March, just as the show started, the clouds came and stole away the warm sunshine I was counting on to get dry. The result? Last time we were cold and miserable for half the day, and this time we did all the water rides early in the day and avoided the soak zones. We also had a blast! It was especially cool to see the night shows. Our favorite was the Sea Lions--those guys are hilarious! All the shows were spectacular, of course; I just love watching the animals swim and leap from the water; they're so graceful...so powerful...so majestic! I think my favorite might be the dolphins--they always look like they're smiling and laughing, especially after they splash you! I love the playful attitude they exude.
After we saw the night shows, it was time for the fireworks: glorious! I love firework displays, and this one did not disappoint. It was beautiful, and lasted a solid 10 minutes (ish).
That night we stayed in another great hotel, this one in the historic Old Town district only a few minutes from the park. It was really beautifully designed, with lots of dark wood and white stucco, and we had a much bigger room! Breakfast on Sunday was in the courtyard with lots of greenery and a fountain; beautiful. It definitely felt like vacation, especially since it was only 60-something degrees at 10 in the morning.
We had planned to rent a tandem bike out on Coronado island Sunday, but by the time we made it out to the rental shop they were out of tandem bikes, so we decided to just head home.
And so now I am typing this as we drive back to Phoenix! (I love my ipad!) I had a wonderful weekend escaping the heat with my hubby. Really, there is no better way to travel than road tripping with my man; what woman wouldn't enjoy listening to romantic songs in Spanish while her husband translates? Yup, this is the life! See you again soon, Phoenix!
We used an app for the iPhone called hotel finder to make last minute reservations (thanks, honey, for being so resourceful!) and our first night was amazing! We stayed in the Gaslamp Plaza Suites, a converted hotel that was originally the first ever skyscraper built in San Diego, way back in 1913! For anyone familiar with my obsessive love of American history and the early 20th century especially, this was obviously a big thrill. Our room was tiny that the bathroom was almost the same size, but we loved it.
Also, the next morning, they served a yummy free breakfast--on the roof! We had a great view--and counted almost a dozen flags flying from the tops of various skyscrapers, including ours. Gotta love the American pride!
Saturday we spent the whole day at SeaWorld, using our year passes that we got for our honeymoon. Last time we were there, of course, it was March, which meant that a) it was much colder, and b) there were fewer people. This time there were small chldren everywhere! It was kind of like an obstacle course navagating the crowds and trying not to step on any tiny kids. Last time we visited, Carlos wanted to sit in the "soak zone" at the Shamu show, and the signs do not lie--we got soaked! And because it was March, just as the show started, the clouds came and stole away the warm sunshine I was counting on to get dry. The result? Last time we were cold and miserable for half the day, and this time we did all the water rides early in the day and avoided the soak zones. We also had a blast! It was especially cool to see the night shows. Our favorite was the Sea Lions--those guys are hilarious! All the shows were spectacular, of course; I just love watching the animals swim and leap from the water; they're so graceful...so powerful...so majestic! I think my favorite might be the dolphins--they always look like they're smiling and laughing, especially after they splash you! I love the playful attitude they exude.
After we saw the night shows, it was time for the fireworks: glorious! I love firework displays, and this one did not disappoint. It was beautiful, and lasted a solid 10 minutes (ish).
That night we stayed in another great hotel, this one in the historic Old Town district only a few minutes from the park. It was really beautifully designed, with lots of dark wood and white stucco, and we had a much bigger room! Breakfast on Sunday was in the courtyard with lots of greenery and a fountain; beautiful. It definitely felt like vacation, especially since it was only 60-something degrees at 10 in the morning.
We had planned to rent a tandem bike out on Coronado island Sunday, but by the time we made it out to the rental shop they were out of tandem bikes, so we decided to just head home.
And so now I am typing this as we drive back to Phoenix! (I love my ipad!) I had a wonderful weekend escaping the heat with my hubby. Really, there is no better way to travel than road tripping with my man; what woman wouldn't enjoy listening to romantic songs in Spanish while her husband translates? Yup, this is the life! See you again soon, Phoenix!
Friday, August 5, 2011
Pen Names
When I was little I thought pen names were the coolest thing ever, and I always knew that if I ever actually pursued publication of anything I'd written, I'd publish under a pen name (this was before my name rhymed, which is pretty cool in and of itself).
Obviously, when I was eight I had very different ideas about what constituted a "good name," and as my tastes have changed so has my ideal pen name. I finally settled on one, though, maybe a year or two ago, and because it's late and I'm tired I decided to share it:
Renate Seline Zaz
The initials are the letters from my first licence plate on my first car, RSZ, and mostly I chose that because I thought it would be kinda offbeat, plus the letter "z" is just so rad!
The fact that I just used the word "rad" is a clear sign that I need to stop typing and start sleeping...very soon...zzzzzzz...........
Obviously, when I was eight I had very different ideas about what constituted a "good name," and as my tastes have changed so has my ideal pen name. I finally settled on one, though, maybe a year or two ago, and because it's late and I'm tired I decided to share it:
Renate Seline Zaz
The initials are the letters from my first licence plate on my first car, RSZ, and mostly I chose that because I thought it would be kinda offbeat, plus the letter "z" is just so rad!
The fact that I just used the word "rad" is a clear sign that I need to stop typing and start sleeping...very soon...zzzzzzz...........
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Burnout: perspective
So, one of the reasons I wanted to start a blog is that I tend to process things really well when I write them out, which helps alleviate a lot of stress, and posting it on the internet where literally ANYONE can read it keeps me accountable, both in how I express myself and how I behave.
Lately, I've been dealing with a lot burnout and compassion fatigue at work. "Burnout" is a buzzword in nursing; the articles dealing with it are countless, and often repetitive: Nurses are stressed. New nurses are leaving the profession after only a few years due to burnout. Nurses should do things in their personal lives to help relieve stress, like eat right, sleep enough, exercise and get massages. Hospitals and employers should treat their nurses like valued employees, because the nursing shortage is bad. It's very bad. And burnout is bad. It's bad that so many nurses are burning out.
Ahem. Yeah. The articles aren't much help; they mostly just make me frustrated (ironic, no?). So I figured maybe if I write about this frustration, and remind myself of why I chose this profession, it will help keep me grounded in the minute-to-minute reality of being a bedside nurse in an emergency department, dealing with patients that curse at you, spit on you, vomit on you, bleed on your scrubs and urinate on the floor.
A few years ago, my younger sister went through this phase wherein she was obsessed with our home videos. The result? Our entire family watched hour upon hour of footage, our own personal family time capsule. It was great fun, and now we laugh all over again at things we had forgotten.
In one of these videos, I am roughly four years old, while my brother is two, laying on the floor pretending to be sick whilst I, the medical professional, assess and treat him (the poor kid was such a good sport).
All my life, I wanted to help people. I decided to pursue nursing instead of medical school because I want to stay home with my kids one day, and I didn't want to pay for eight years of school just to give up a fledgling practice. (Plus, as Carla states on the show Scrubs, "we do all the real work anyway" ;)
The conflict occurs when some people really don't want help. Like the alcoholics who come in and withdraw, spending long, miserable hours in the process of detox, only to be discharged so that they can get drunk again. Often patients know just the right words to use to get what they want, wasting valuable resources that could be better spent on a person with greater need. And sometimes a patient is just mean, a rude, in-your-face, calls you a name you'd never even heard before, jerk.
The problem is that I know I'm supposed to love that person the way Jesus did. I am supposed to love the stinky homeless man who calls me nasty names and insults me because I look young just as much as the sweet guy who cooperates with his treatments and respects the professionals caring for him--even the young RN.
(Side note: I don't mind looking young, and I don't always mind it when patients confuse me for a student, or ask my age; it's all in their tone and how they word it.)
So as a reminder to myself, below are my "encouraging pre-shift" verses, because I want to be a good nurse, the kind that is effective and compassionate; I don't want to "burn out" after a measly three years at the bedside. And while I know that there will always be days that I dream of another job, any other job, one with regular hours and regular clothes and not dealing with other people's bodily fluids (really, they don't tell you this in school, but dealing with other people's bodily fluids is about 90% of what a bedside nurse does), the below verses are a wake-up call that this is where God placed me, and this is where I need to serve with a good attitude and heart for the patients I see and the work I do.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."
"Do all things without grumbling or disputing, so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world."
"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord."
Colossians 3:23, Philippians 2:14-15, 1 Corinthians 15:58
Lately, I've been dealing with a lot burnout and compassion fatigue at work. "Burnout" is a buzzword in nursing; the articles dealing with it are countless, and often repetitive: Nurses are stressed. New nurses are leaving the profession after only a few years due to burnout. Nurses should do things in their personal lives to help relieve stress, like eat right, sleep enough, exercise and get massages. Hospitals and employers should treat their nurses like valued employees, because the nursing shortage is bad. It's very bad. And burnout is bad. It's bad that so many nurses are burning out.
Ahem. Yeah. The articles aren't much help; they mostly just make me frustrated (ironic, no?). So I figured maybe if I write about this frustration, and remind myself of why I chose this profession, it will help keep me grounded in the minute-to-minute reality of being a bedside nurse in an emergency department, dealing with patients that curse at you, spit on you, vomit on you, bleed on your scrubs and urinate on the floor.
A few years ago, my younger sister went through this phase wherein she was obsessed with our home videos. The result? Our entire family watched hour upon hour of footage, our own personal family time capsule. It was great fun, and now we laugh all over again at things we had forgotten.
In one of these videos, I am roughly four years old, while my brother is two, laying on the floor pretending to be sick whilst I, the medical professional, assess and treat him (the poor kid was such a good sport).
All my life, I wanted to help people. I decided to pursue nursing instead of medical school because I want to stay home with my kids one day, and I didn't want to pay for eight years of school just to give up a fledgling practice. (Plus, as Carla states on the show Scrubs, "we do all the real work anyway" ;)
The conflict occurs when some people really don't want help. Like the alcoholics who come in and withdraw, spending long, miserable hours in the process of detox, only to be discharged so that they can get drunk again. Often patients know just the right words to use to get what they want, wasting valuable resources that could be better spent on a person with greater need. And sometimes a patient is just mean, a rude, in-your-face, calls you a name you'd never even heard before, jerk.
The problem is that I know I'm supposed to love that person the way Jesus did. I am supposed to love the stinky homeless man who calls me nasty names and insults me because I look young just as much as the sweet guy who cooperates with his treatments and respects the professionals caring for him--even the young RN.
(Side note: I don't mind looking young, and I don't always mind it when patients confuse me for a student, or ask my age; it's all in their tone and how they word it.)
So as a reminder to myself, below are my "encouraging pre-shift" verses, because I want to be a good nurse, the kind that is effective and compassionate; I don't want to "burn out" after a measly three years at the bedside. And while I know that there will always be days that I dream of another job, any other job, one with regular hours and regular clothes and not dealing with other people's bodily fluids (really, they don't tell you this in school, but dealing with other people's bodily fluids is about 90% of what a bedside nurse does), the below verses are a wake-up call that this is where God placed me, and this is where I need to serve with a good attitude and heart for the patients I see and the work I do.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."
"Do all things without grumbling or disputing, so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world."
"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord."
Colossians 3:23, Philippians 2:14-15, 1 Corinthians 15:58
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Yellow Light!
One of my favorite things about driving is being alone in the car, blasting my music, and singing along at the top of my lungs. Recently, my husband introduced me to the game "yellow light," which involves striking the car ceiling (interesting when you've just put the top down on the convertible) and claiming any traffic light that turns yellow before anyone else in the car sees it. I refused to play this game at first, but thanks to my OCD nature, I soon began noticing yellow lights everywhere, and at this point I can sing along, pause just long enough to call "yellow light!" and hit the ceiling before resuming my American Idol impression as smoothly as though I'd been singing all along. Carlos and I are evenly matched, but be warned: our skills are quite impressive. We will absolutely destroy any other competition. Road trips just got so much interesting ;)
Monday, August 1, 2011
My Rhyming Name
Since getting married in March, I have spent many dollars and endless seeming hours presenting the necessary paperwork, in the necessary order, to various people and their copy machines in the process of changing my name. With only one update to go (my passport), it is now official: my name rhymes.
When Carlos and I first started dating, I never expected that 4.5 years later we would exchange vows. Thus, it didn't seem important that his last name, Estrada, rhymed with my first name, Renate. My first name and maiden name is/was German and both have been butchered in spelling and pronunciation my whole life, but my whole maiden name was so German and awesome and unique that it never bothered me. Now, when I call people on the phone or introduce myself, I give my name, and my first instinct is to giggle. If I want to laugh and make fun of me, what must be the reaction of others?
It was and still is very important to me to take the last name of my husband, to show not only my commitment to him, but also that we are a new family and a whole unit, and I certainly have no regrets. I just feel ridiculous when I tell people my name :) In the spirit of fun, however, I am willing to share the absolute most silly thing to come out of this situation: my theme song.
My Rhyming Name
(to be sung to the tune of "Hakuna Matata")
Renate Estrada
What a wonderful name!
Renate Estrada
For the rest of my days!
It means I'm married
For today and always
It's my married name
My rhyming game
Renate Estrada!
Ahem. Thank you. Thank you very much.
When Carlos and I first started dating, I never expected that 4.5 years later we would exchange vows. Thus, it didn't seem important that his last name, Estrada, rhymed with my first name, Renate. My first name and maiden name is/was German and both have been butchered in spelling and pronunciation my whole life, but my whole maiden name was so German and awesome and unique that it never bothered me. Now, when I call people on the phone or introduce myself, I give my name, and my first instinct is to giggle. If I want to laugh and make fun of me, what must be the reaction of others?
It was and still is very important to me to take the last name of my husband, to show not only my commitment to him, but also that we are a new family and a whole unit, and I certainly have no regrets. I just feel ridiculous when I tell people my name :) In the spirit of fun, however, I am willing to share the absolute most silly thing to come out of this situation: my theme song.
My Rhyming Name
(to be sung to the tune of "Hakuna Matata")
Renate Estrada
What a wonderful name!
Renate Estrada
For the rest of my days!
It means I'm married
For today and always
It's my married name
My rhyming game
Renate Estrada!
Ahem. Thank you. Thank you very much.
Halloo blogosphere!
Woohoo--I'm blogging! I've been reading a lot of different blogs lately on varied things, and my husband suggested to me that perhaps having a blog of my own would be a good creative outlet, since it combines so many things that I love--writing, typing on my cute lil' iPad, and sharing my (many) interests and (strong) opinions. So...I did. And here it is: my blog. Welcome.
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